Sammy Sosa will land a skin-cream endorsement deal and go on to form his own cosmetics company, which will become a proud sponsor of Major League Baseball -- until the products are revealed to contain banned substances, thereby ending Mark McGwire's deal with Sosa to endorse a vanishing cream.
White Sox left-hander Mark Buehrle wins the Rawlings Gold Glove. To celebrate, he will have it bronzed. Just kidding. Although with him, you never know.
Random thoughts while wondering whether the 49ers would be willing to trade Mike Singletary to the Bears for Lovie Smith:
Nothing quite like the wonderful warm weather Sunday to have a baseball fan yearning for the start of a new season. Come to think of it, nothing quite like Sunday's showing -- especially the first half against the Arizona Cardinals -- to have Bears fans yearning for the start of a new season, too.
In the never-ending quest for the Pulitzer Prize for Public Service, Quick Hits approached the new Ricketts family ownership of the Cubs.
The ''Top Ten Revelations In Chad Ochocinco's Autobiography'' read by the Bengals receiver in-studio on the CBS ''Late Show'':
Watching football from the sidelines is not the best perspective for a top linebacker. Just ask Bears star Brian Urlacher, whose season ended in the opening game with a broken wrist.
Random thoughts while wondering whether it's time to rethink the Quick Hits prediction of the Philadelphia Phillies winning the World Series in seven games and left-hander Cliff Lee being the MVP:
As far as the Philadelphia Phillies are concerned about the World Series, there is a fine line between taking the Fall Classic and taking a classic fall. Or not so fine.
In Scottie Pippen's view, the Los Angeles Lakers could win 72. Along with Michael Jordan, Pippen was part of the 1995-96 Bulls team that won a record 72 games. Only three teams (including the 1996-97 Bulls with 69 victories) have reached 67 since the Bulls' superlative season. ''The Lakers have a chance,'' Pippen told SI.com of the team led by superstar Kobe Bryant. ''They have the luxury of a young center like [Andrew] Bynum, a young power like [Pau] Gasol and even Josh Powell is a guy who deserves minutes. ... If anybody can challenge [the record], it's them.''
Mark McGwire as hitting coach should give the St. Louis Cardinals -- whose offense disappeared late in the season -- a real shot in the arm. Or other body parts.
Random thoughts while wondering if a 35-10, 25-10 or 15-10 loss to the Bengals on Sunday in Cincinnati would have been any better for the Bears:
It sure sounded as if WSCR and WMVP reporters were using the same tin can to transmit information from Cincinnati on Bears pregame programs Sunday. WSCR's Dan Hampton even remarked to co-host Hub Arkush it sounded as if the connection with Zach Zaidman was from Uranus. Well, presumably that's what Hampton was saying.
With White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen being a part of pregame and postgame World Series coverage on Fox, will the network need to go to a 30-second delay to avoid violating FCC rules?
Minneapolis Mayor R.T. Rybak collected last week on his bet with Green Bay Mayor Jim Schmitt over the Oct. 5 Vikings-Packers game. Rybak received Wisconsin-made cheese, chocolate and 10 pounds of hamburgers (the goodies are being donated to help the needy). If the Packers had prevailed, Rybak would have sent Schmitt Minnesota cheese, kettle corn and Honeycrisp apples. What Quick Hits does not understand (OK, merely one of many things) is why the winner would receive items from the loser rather than have the loser purchase items from the winning city or state, thereby helping the city or state economy of the triumphant team.
Random thoughts while wondering whether Cedric Benson or Matt Forte will rush for more yards Sunday:
If Major League Baseball is going to play postseason games in the chilling, rainy conditions that the Angels and Yankees had to endure Saturday night in New York, you would think somewhere along the line the MLB marketing geniuses would name baseball's official hot chocolate and/or umbrella. Cold cash would seem to be an appropriate term right about here.
Some guy named James Tyree stopped by to chat with Mike North and Dan Jiggetts on their Comcast SportsNet ''Monsters in the Morning'' show Tuesday.
Rush defense -- and offense -- sure take on new meaning with the possibility of Rush Limbaugh becoming an NFL owner. Although if the conservative (to use the word liberally) talk-show host wanted to buy into a sport that would be more fitting, he might try hockey. After all, at least those teams have officially sanctioned right wingers.
